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caffeineguy
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November 10th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
11:02 am
15:50
I adore my nephews, but this Seattle wknd was a strong reminder to never impregnate anybody. Unclehood is way more painless than fatherhood.
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November 9th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
11:02 am
20:51
This is weird. My mom just informed me that she made moonshine from the blackberries in my sister's backyard & asked me to test it.
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November 7th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
11:05 am
00:30
Partying in Seattle with my one-month-old nephews. And by "party," I mean watching them fart and poo like grizzly bears. So damn proud.
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November 6th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
11:06 am
14:35
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. This week, life gave me herpes. Time to make herpes juice.
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October 19th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:07 am
18:27
Waitress @ Nanbankan just asked us, "Are you sure you can eat all that?" She looked genuinely concerned when we nodded yes.
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October 15th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:04 am
12:40
The Benny Hill-ifier adds the exalted Benny Hill soundtrack to any Youtube video, like this one:
tinyurl.com/yh9hqyy
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October 10th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:00 am
01:30
So according to the rabbi, I'm looking at the world through tired eyes.
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October 7th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:04 am
12:00
Damn you, waking up. I am the complete opposite of a morning person. Which would make me a morning plant.
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October 5th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:09 am
22:24
Just witnessed the longest pee ever achieved by a dog. If you combined the movies in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that's how long it was.
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October 1st, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:01 am
14:00
I've come to the conclusion that whoever said 'the best things in life are free' probably stole a lot of shit.
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September 30th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:01 am
11:18
My sister just gave birth to two more boys! 6 lbs & 7 lbs. She's already stockpiled Jane Austen novels to combat the excess testosterone.
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September 28th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:01 am
17:26
Stanford (3-1) now has a better record than the Steelers (1-2). Everything is suddenly backward. The world is one big Kriss Kross outfit.
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September 26th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:01 am
12:50
This has already been an eventful week & there are still 35 hours left in the cup. Do I sip & savor the rest or slam it with a Stoli chaser?
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September 22nd, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:00 am
15:10
The Moken language has no words for "hello," "farewell," "when," "take," "want," & "worry." I have 97 words for "pooping." I win!
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September 17th, 2009
Subject:
Tiny, Little Chunks Of My Existence.
Time:
10:01 am
03:12
Sleep should be extremely easy. Step 1 - Assume a horizontal position. Step 2 - Close eyes. Yet sometimes it's harder than brain surgery.
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