caffeineguy (caffeineguy) wrote,
caffeineguy
caffeineguy

Toronto Trip: Day 3.


Even asleep the dude's still styling his hair.

--

We didn’t get up until noon on Saturday. The absinthe had destroyed us. No hangovers, just the unpleasant feeling you get after you've completed a triathalon while being repeatedly bludgeoned by the full-grown chimpanzee strapped to your back.

Alex(lexxy_pie) lay on the bed completely motionless. I put a mirror under his nose to make sure the absinthe didn’t kill him. Other than getting up briefly to grab lunch with us, he was down for the count 'til 3 or 4 PM. I guess growing up in a country where vodka's squeezed into your glass with an eyedropper didn't adequately prepare him for the Green Apocalypse.

Rain(hipstomp) was not very sympathetic.

“That bastard kept rubbing his leg against mine all night,” he complained.

As for the rest of us, the absinthe had blown through our innards like a tsunami, making us extraordinarily regular. Luckily there were several bathroom stalls on the second floor, where the hotel's conference rooms were; because if we'd only used the toilet in our room, our suite would've been rendered completely uninhabitable. You would've had to set fire to the place to cleanse the evil.

All day and night we bombed those second floor toilets like they were al Qaeda hideouts.


--





While Alex slept, we trekked around downtown Toronto, eventually ending up in the Chinatown area on Spadina, where they were having a street fair. Paul(naka_chan) was jonesing for a massage, so when I spotted a booth offering Thai rubdowns he jumped right in.

For some reason the tent didn't really have a wall so, as you can see, Paul was on full display to all the passerby. And man, the guy instantly became a major tourist attraction. Maybe some of them thought they were demonstrating ultimate fighting moves, or the Homo Sutra. But in the 20 minutes he was there, over 50 curious onlookers stopped to check out the man-on-man action. This one old lady wouldn't stop laughing. I could've easily charged admission.





When we got back, Alex was finally out of bed; so we hung out in the hotel bar, working on some writing exercises that Rain had us try out. As expected, it turned into a laughfest, but we clearly weren't even close to 100%.

Fucking absinthe.

--



For dinner we hit this Italian place that, quite frankly, was pretty mediocre. Paul was especially unhappy about the slow service. He even threatened "to go Paulk." So when we got the check and found that they'd charged us for something we didn't order, we pictured him exploding into a Hulk-like rage: Throwing people across the room, punching holes through steel walls, putting on a pair of torn purple pants, etc. I would've missed it anyway as I had to go take a crap.

But here's the thing about Paul: He's such a happy-go-lucky guy that even his homicidal fury is basically mild annoyance for most people. Believe me, I've been going out with a Korean girl for many years so I'm an expert on real fury.


--




We headed to this giant spot called Lucid - one of the biggest nightclubs I've ever seen. Hell, it's bigger than most department stores. Right when this picture was taken, Rain and Alex became smitten with the same beautiful woman. In accordance with ancient Canadian customs, they engaged in a savage log cabin building battle before they realized that what they should've been building was ... brotherhood.


--




Rain discovers that he is no longer wearing shoes. Alex has trouble pretending.


--




This was taken at some bar across the street from Lucid. Yes, I look freaky in a "Jacob's Ladder" kind of way. Somehow I'm looking at the camera and glaring at our waiter at the same time. I'd just finished complaining to him about the drink menu, which stated that each martini only came with 2 oz. of vodka. The waiter looked at me like I was crazy. "It's 1 oz. at the other places," he replied. It's impossible to get drunk in this country.


--




Afterward we walked up Spadina to this 24-hour Chinese joint called Rol San. On the way there, we had a random now-minor celebrity encounter with Woody Harrelson on the sidewalk. At least the food at Rol San was pretty good.

One of Alex's friends kindly offered to drive us home. Somehow we fit seven people into a Jetta. I don't think Paul and Rain minded.



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