caffeineguy (caffeineguy) wrote,
caffeineguy
caffeineguy

China Trip. Beijing Pics.



When inside the Forbidden City, one must do the Forbidden Dance.


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If, at any time, you find yourself grabbed around the neck by a giant sinewy arm, become as perfectly rigid as possible. It will think you are an empty beverage container and eventually toss you away.


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Moat ... boat ... moatboat!


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If you don't want anybody boosting your ride in Beijing, install an anti-theft bird or, in this case, two. Note to self: First thing I do when I turn 60 is buy a fedora.


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Staring at these leaves made me feel like urinating.


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A painting in Factory 798, an abandoned Bauhaus industrial complex that was converted into a sprawling artist enclave filled with galleries, studios, cafes, bars, stores, design & ad agencies. It's just a matter of time before you start seeing million-dollar lofts and aloof model/actresses with oversized sunglasses.


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It took my second visit to Beijing before I finally checked out the Summer Palace. It's so overly renovated, I don't think anything there was built before "Friends." Nevertheless I really liked this bridge - or as they say in China, bleedge.


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Removing Peking Duck particles with my tongue while lunching solo at Crystal Jade.


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Air pollution never looked so haunting and beautiful.


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Sadly, the only authentic hutong shot I could get. The hutongs around Houhai have turned into bland and tidy tourist attractions with hundreds of guys selling bicycle rickshaw tours. Some locals tried to tell me where in Beijing I could find better hutongs, or was it hookers? They were speaking Mandarin so I have no idea what they were saying.


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A cavernous room inside Factory 798 preserved in its original state, back when Factory 798 really was a factory. Ironically, the sign reads "Achieve the Four Modernisations! Kill All Hipsters!"


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The bartenders at Babyface made this really elaborate drink where they constructed an Eiffel Tower out of various drink glasses, then poured an entire bowl of flaming alcohol right on top of it. I'm not sure how this was supposed to get you drunk.


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Before these signs were installed, people were playing bugles and blowing up trucks with impunity.


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Somebody should tell this guy that all the fish in this lake have long since died from pesticides, hepatitis and gonorrhea.


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Not surprisingly, women are just as evil on this side of the planet.



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