caffeineguy (caffeineguy) wrote,
caffeineguy
caffeineguy

Mekong Delta. Hanoi. Shirtless Old Men.


This is Can Tho, the main city in the Mekong Delta. "Can Tho" must mean "Unwiped Anus" in Vietnamese, because like every other fishing town, this place reeked. However, the skies above Can Tho reeked only of awesome.


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The Old Quarter of Hanoi at dusk. From above, the unique dimensions of the buildings - along with their aged exteriors and the way they were clustered - reminded me of the mausoleum-filled Recoleta cemetary in Buenos Aires. By sheer coincidence, Hanoi is filled with dead Argentinians.


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This is where I had my most expensive dinner in Vietnam: Bobby Chinn. It came out to $14. Twas money well-spent as not only was my barramundi tender and buttery, but all of your food comes out of that giant, red, puckered orifice in the ceiling. Quite a spectacle.


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This is where I had my cheapest breakfast in Vietnam. Like every sidewalk joint in Southeast Asia, they had plastic stools and tables that were clearly intended for preschoolers. But for a 37-cent bowl of noodles, I couldn't complain.


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Hanging out at the Hanoi Hilton with familiar friends: Vietnamese mannequins. These two mannequins were quite touchy-feely with each other, and I think I interupted an intimate prison moment between them.


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Rush hour in Hanoi.


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Rush hour in the Mekong Delta.


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Lord knows what evil lurked beneath the murky green waters of the Mekong Delta. But it was so sweltering hot that I was very tempted to join the kids and jump in, parasites and Hepatitis C be damned.


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Bees on the Mekong Delta. Not only do they provide honey, but the people of the Mekong enjoy staring at this for hours of entertainment. If you cross your eyes a little, you can see a 3-D image of a space shuttle.


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Hanoi ladies doing their nightly exercises next to Hoan Kiem Lake. The woman in the middle mesmerized me with her black-spandex-clad buttocks. They were like meaty enigmas.


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The boats in Can Tho are much sturdier than the buildings. They have to be, on account of their constantly being attacked by pirates, Vikings and lions.


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A couple of haunted buildings in Hanoi's Old Quarter. The sky colored the entire city in an eerie twilight yellow; and later that night, I experienced one of the craziest lightning storms that an LA guy can ever experience. For almost an hour the lightning wouldn't stop rapidly flashing. It was as if the entire sky was one big strobelight and God was the DJ. But he insisted on only playing Pussycat Dolls, Black Eyed Peas and Sean Paul. I wanted to complain, but what could you do? The DJ God is an indifferent God.


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Alex and I finally hopped on a couple of cyclos, except that Alex's driver was 80-years-old and probably prepared himself for a massive stroke after trying to pedal Alex's ass a couple of blocks. So Alex offered to take over and do the cycling; although in exchange he demanded that the old man remove his dentures and do things to him that only a toothless person could.


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Speaking of elderly males, I'd forgotten to post this photo I'd taken back in Ho Chi Minh City. These guys should have their own cartoon show on Nickelodeon. The guy with the hat would be the simple-minded klutz with a hankering for anchovy pizzas and women with large haunches, while the guy on the right would be the hot-tempered buffoon who thinks he can tame wild beasts with his mind.




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