caffeineguy (caffeineguy) wrote,
caffeineguy
caffeineguy

Hypothetical Questions.


This was taken right before we went and saw "LOVE: Cirque du Soleil" in Vegas. I think a more appropriate title for the show is "LIKE."

--

I've heard nice things about the bar at Casa Del Mar, but I never bothered to go until last Friday. Not a big fan of Santa Monica bars or clubs. Not sure why. I'm mysterious and enchanting that way. However, a surgeon friend invited us to stop by as he was with sales reps from a surgical equipment company. This meant open bar for us. So I set aside my distaste for Santa Monica nightlife and paid a visit to Casa Del Mar. And it is indeed a nice bar. Expansive, nicely furnished, and blessed with an ocean view. Even if I paid for the drinks, I'd still recommend the place.

While we were there, somehow a deserted island question came up. I cannot stand hypothetical questions. They are slightly less annoying than malaria. My girlfriend is fully aware of this - which is why she loves asking them.

"If I died tomorrow, how soon would you start dating again?"

"If you had to choose which of your sisters you loved most, who would it be?"

"If we woke up tomorrow, and I were a man and you were a woman, do you think we'd still go out with each other?"


My usual answer to these questions is to raise my hands to my face and tear the skin and muscle tissue off with my fingers, screaming, "WHY???"

--

However, I don't mind hypothetical questions as much when there's alcohol involved. It's surprisingly entertaining. So when someone brought up a very popular hypothetical question theme - deserted island - I actually decided to answer. And here's an excerpt ...


FRIEND #1:
Let's say you were stuck on a deserted island with an insanely grotesque, stank-ass, abundantly hairy, deformed woman. How long would it take for you to cave in and have sex with her? Be honest.

ME:
Well for a blowjob and with my eyes closed ... maybe a month. Or less if she had the tongue of an angel.

FRIEND #2:
Never. I wouldn't touch her.

FRIEND #1 AND ME:
Get the fuck out of here!

FRIEND #2:
I'm serious.

ME:
What, you'd cut a hole in a coconut instead? Masturbating doesn't count, cheater. How about you? How long would you wait?

FRIEND #1:
I'd have sex with her on the first day and hope our daughter turned out hot.



Site Meter

Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 26 comments