July 12th, 2002


The Anti-Hotty

Today was supposedly T’s last day in LA. He allegedly had a flight scheduled to leave for Hong Kong after midnight. You had to understand the skepticism behind it, because in the past fifteen months the guy’s had maybe five going away parties. And every time we think he’s moved out to Asia for good, a few weeks later the dude returns like the Jedi. So when an Evite went out last week inviting people to his going away dinner, some of the responses were: “T’s leaving again?” “Suuure you’re going.” “Fuck you, you lying whore!”

Right before the farewell dinner, T dropped by my place, and wouldn’t you know it, the bastard told me he wasn’t leaving today after all. Apparently he had a last-minute contract spat with the HR people at Warner Bros. over his housing allowance. It would take at least a week for them to sort this shit out, which meant the man’s here to party yet another weekend.

We all had the dinner anyway, at his favorite Thai restaurant Chandara. If you’ve ever been to the joint, you’d know that it’s not because of the cuisine. The food’s actually quite decent, but the waitresses are significantly better than decent. Chandara even tries to market itself as sort of a Thai Hooters, minus the dolphin shorts and inflated breasts. The waitresses aren’t always hot as advertised, but tonight our waitress had the guys Bangkok’ed.

And that, my friends, was the reason T’s always been reluctant to leave LA. T’s a big fan of hot-ass Asian chicks. And without a doubt, LA has the hottest Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, Mongolian, Tibetan, Nepalese females this side of the Pacific. And it kills him that he has to leave all those hotties behind for Hong Kong, which is the polar opposite of LA in terms of Asian female talent. It’s the Lisa Ling of Asian cities. The Margaret Cho to LA’s Sung Hi Lee. The Anti-Hotty.

But Hong Kong is where his promising career lies. And in these harsh economic times, a cushy job OBVIOUSLY takes precedence over your dating life. Right? Well for a guy like T, it’s not that simple. And that’s why no one here would be surprised to see him back in LA yet again.

Unlike Tuesday’s entry, I’ll try to keep this one short. Fuck, I write a lot. No wonder I do it for a living.

Met up with a handful of friends for drinks over at Café Bleu. Hanging with us was this couple visiting from Hong Kong, Nick and Anne. Nick’s a studly looking Australian dude and seemed somewhat confused when I told him that I liked Australians because they were “peppy.” After I reassured him that "peppy" had nothing to do with enjoying sodomy, we then talked a lot about skin cancer.

Anne’s Singaporean and attractive in that interesting Hapa sort of way. I was surprised to find out that she was an anchorwoman for CNN Asia, because she looked too young to be doing the Connie Chung thing. I asked her how she got into TV reporting. Did she major in journalism? Did she slave away on an audition tape? Nope. She was out sailing one day and got approached by someone who said, “You should try TV reporting.” Just like that.

She also had an interesting piece of family trivia. Remember the Chow Yun Fat flick “Anna and the King?” In real life, her grandfather took Anna’s place as the royal tutor after Anna ditched Thailand. I had no idea that “The King and I” was based on a true story.

“Wow, if your grandfather got there just a little earlier, that could’ve been him dancing with Yul Brenner,” I exclaimed. I can picture her reporting next week, displaying my photo…

ANNE: This is breaking news from CNN. See this picture? Last week, this dumbass just made a bad joke regarding the sexual preference of one of my beloved ancestors. If you see this guy on the street, please break his face.”