November 26th, 2002


Greetings From Bangkok

MOM: So you're leaving for Thailand in an hour?

ME: Yeah mom, Dad's going to drop me off at the airport.

MOM: Eddie-yah... Promise me one thing.

ME: Yes?

MOM: Don't sex with hookers. You'll get AIDS. And then you could die.

ME: Jesus, mom.

Slept through half the flight. Two thumbs up for the inflight movies too: "Bourne Identity" and "Minority Report."

However, if you ever find yourself taking Eva Airlines, and they ask if you want the Western breakfast or Eastern breakfast, tell them to cook your little airplane pillow instead. Since I took two flights to get to Bangkok, I ended up getting both Eva breakfasts and they were so hideously bad that I almost broke down and cried, 'cause they were that awful.

So I got to the hotel, called people back home to let them know that I was fine (and not sleeping with any hookers), shat and showered. Then I spent the aftenoon at the Grand Palace and the temple inside its walls - Wat Phra Kaeo. Very impressive, as if they were built entirely out of gold, sapphire and rubies. Of course pics will come later.

For some reason the Palace closes at 3:30pm, so here I am at some grungy Internet cafe in Banglamphu. Actually, since it's the backpackers district, everything in Banglamphu is grungy. Remember that scene in "The Beach" where Leonardo meets up with ... what am I saying, none of you watched that movie.

Oh, and by the by, did I tell you how fucking hot and humid it is here? This is supposed to be the "cool" season in Thailand, dammit. Cool must mean slightly less warm than the inside of Satan's colon, because this is ridiculous. Why do I always end up vacationing in places like this? Next time I'm heading to someplace cool and dry, like the inside of my office.

Alright, time to grab some grub. Anybody out there happen to know if cockfighting is still legal out here? (No you sick bastards, not that kind of cock. I mean penisfighting. Ba-Dah-Dump!)