January 24th, 2003


Slouchy Dog

Hurting a bit from yesterday’s guy’s night out. I think hangovers are God’s way of telling us to drink less alcohol, and snort more coke. And I’ve never heard of any crackheads getting hangovers. No sirree.


Back in college, my buddies and I invented a word for each other. “Slouchy dog.” Just a more polite way of saying “You lazy fuck.” Come to think of it, we used that word a lot. Just one of the things about being a liberal arts major at Stanford, where you pretty much got a ‘B’ just for showing up for your finals. An ‘A’ was for using a #2 pencil. Heaven forbid if you used a #3 or #1 pencil though: because that would mean an ‘A-‘ and a heavy burden of shame on your family.

I’ve been a slouchy dog lately with working out. With the traveling, working and reality TV watching, I haven’t been to the gym in almost two months. Just the other weekend, while having dinner with the family, my mom and I had a conversation about this…

MOM: Eddie-yah.

ME: Yeah mom?

MOM: You haven’t been exercising have you?

ME: Why?

MOM: Because you fat.

So I finally went back to the gym Wednesday, although my girlfriend had to drag my slouchy dog ass over there. The first thing I did was weigh myself on the gym’s scale, and you know what? After all the kalbi, Chipotle burritos, medium rare porterhouse steaks, and yellowtail sushi, I only gained two pounds. My mom did have a point though, because looking in the mirror, those two pounds went straight to the parts of the body where it looks like I gained twenty pounds. Damn you, fat cells.


Two of my favorite brain fart words happen to be Korean. The first one is the Korean word for butt-hole. It is, in my opinion, the second funniest sounding word you can find in any of the Earth’s languages.

The funniest sounding word is the Korean name for this tasty side dish…