September 4th, 2003


For You Shitty Dressed New Yorkers.

Just cut-and-pasted this from an email I got this morning. This person is a friend of a friend, so if you were thinking about it - please for the love of God don't tell her you know me, it will not improve your chances whatsoever:

Hi everyone -

Sorry for the group message. I'm currently working on a program titled "What Not To Wear" in its second series for the TLC Channel (part of Discovery). BBC NY is producing the series and the series itself is based on a popular BBC2 original in the UK.

We are currently looking for a NY male/female professional (would love to find an Asian / Latin ) bad dresser. "What Not To Wear" is a comedic, fashion make-over show and we are looking for energetic, outgoing folks who are not aware that they dress horribly. (Seeking clever, intelligent, quick witted individuals who'll let the stylist know they can stand their own ground - on TV)

They would be secretly nominated and we would follow them to document their everyday wear for 2 weeks. The bad dresser would receive $5,0000.00 to shop for a whole new wardrobe and the show's content is following this complete process. Below is the web link and the application rules.

If you know of anyone who fits the bill - please let me know- send me a jpeg or give me a ring.

Hope you are all well, enjoying your summer, and again pardon the mass email... and if you do want to nominate someone - please keep it a secret - thanks.

Anna Park

Click here to submit an application.

Applicant Rules

1. The show includes secret filming of the candidate initially, so for purposes of production and surprise, you must not tell the person you are nominating them. This is very important and nominators must abide by this rule.

2. Nominees can be male or female.

3. A selection of photos of the person you're nominating must be sent via email to in order for your application to be considered.

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Fantasy Hurts In Reality.


I was driving to Cheesecake Factory with my girlfriend about a year ago on a late Sunday afternoon. I had just witnessed my fantasy football team, The Dirty Sanchezes, lose a healthy lead in a span of three minutes as Priest Holmes ferociously pounded the Jets defense with his enormous black thighs. And this is what I said to her:

"You know, the thing I've noticed about fantasy football is that when I win, I slightly raise my eyebrows and the corners of my lips. And then maybe I nod twice and say, 'Cool.' That's it."

"But when I lose, I feel like shit for a good eighty minutes. If it's a close loss like today, then it's like the fucker stabbed my soul with a fork and chewed a small, meaty portion of it right in front of my face with the juices running down his chin."

"In other words, I hate losing much, much more than I enjoy winning; and that's a miserable pay-off. So after this season, no more fantasy football."


But instead of leaving my abusive spouse, my battered ass not only went back, but it got married two more times. That's right baby, I joined three fantasy football leagues this year.

Somehow I ended up with the 10th pick out of 12 for all three of my teams. So to help improve my chances of winning, I made sure not to pick the same guys in every league: I'm diversifying my millionaire jock portfolio.

Granted, this means there's three times more players I've got to keep track of, but I've told myself I'm not going to be as emotionally involved as I was the past three years. Seriously. I'm numb to it all now like a pornstar after a 500-man gangbang. Just doing it for the money.

Now bring on Priest Holmes.

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