November 9th, 2003


Next Time, Vietnam.

For Rina's birthday on Saturday, we did the kiddy thing and rented out a room at Shakey's Pizza (which has surprisingly good fried chicken, btw) followed by a hellacious night of bowling.

I use the word 'hellacious' instead of 'scrumptious' because my weak bowling ass didn't even break a 100 in both games. My girlfriend got as many strikes as me (four), and I taught her how to bowl that night. Apparently she followed my instructions better than I did.

You knew that I was going to follow that up with excuses for the shitty performance, and here they are:

1. I haven't bowled since college. Back then, we were poor and lacked fake IDs, so we bowled a lot. But after graduation, Salaried Position and Vodka came into my life, and I lost touch with my old friend Bowling.

2. Someone brought many six packs of Stoli Ice to the bowling alley, and I foolishly drank a few. The condensation on the cold bottles made my fingers slippery, but my buddies claim it's because the sweet light beverage caused me to sprout a vagina ... er, not that having a vagina impairs your ability to bowl.

3. I'd injured myself earlier in the day during a freak bison stampede. The bison were very angry and carrying small firearms. Luckily I was able to save the ranch, but the rose garden was not so lucky.


For work reasons my two-week Southeast Asia trip got sliced in half, with the chopped-off half being Vietnam. Fuck - or as they'd spell it in Vietnam, phock.

It's not that I'm bummed with the Bangkok/Koh Phi Phi/Krabi half of the trip, it's just that I've already been to Bangkok. Plus Vietnam was my main reason for going back to Southeast Asia this year. I'd been looking forward to partying at Club Monaco in Saigon. I'd been looking forward to checking out the colonial architecture in Hanoi. I'd been looking forward to exploring Halong Bay on an old boat.

And then I was going to rent a gunship with Chuck Norris and rescue missing POWs from that secret prison camp.

There's always next year, I guess. But I'll probably have to go by myself. Maybe I can do the lexxy_pie thing and meet up with the Livejournal people of Vietnam. Just hop from place to place, asking them whether or not it's gay to blow yourself.

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