January 14th, 2004


Girlfriends And Their Double Birthdays.

I am full of bright ideas, and liquor.


That pic was taken inside a tent over at the Viceroy, where we celebrated my girlfriend's birthday. It's a spiffy hotel, but I don't recommend getting drunk there - one of those $11 vodka joints. Cost a hundred bucks to reach the point where I thought it'd be extraordinarily hilarious to have a picture taken with a candle on my head.

So the Viceroy outing was back in December, which is when my girlfriend used to celebrate her birthday. But this year she decided to celebrate it today. No, she didn't climb back into her mother's birth canal - she just decided to switch over to her Lunar Calendar birthday.

Why? Because women are insane. And for some reason men cater to this insanity, which makes us their accomplices, although most prefer the term "sex slaves" or "vaginal underlings."

We had dinner at Grace, where I devoured a New York strip steak which coincidentally was about the size of lower Manhattan. It even had its own Chinatown.

While my girlfriend ate her dessert, I quickly sipped my favorite scotch, Macallan, trying to erase from my mind that our meal cost as much as a fucking PlayStation 2. At least a PS2 doesn't get flushed down a toilet the following morning.

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