February 10th, 2004

punch

Physical Attraction Test

Like the rest of the universe, I also took the Match.com Physical Attraction Test. Below are some excerpts from my results report:

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According to the selections you made in the test, this woman fits Your Type. Dude, you will never get laid.

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You also found this woman attractive. She is in fact a man, you closet gay boy.

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This woman finds your penis tragically amusing.

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Looking at over 10,000 men in your age group who have taken the test, about 34% would do your mom.

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Here is an example of a woman you did NOT find appealing. If you do not pay us $500, we will notify her of this, as well as provide her with your home address and phone number. And rest assured she has a history of mental illness and owns several firearms.

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According to choices you made in the test, you prefer to date women who have awful taste in jackets and cut their own hair. You two make one sorry-ass looking couple.

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Another type of body that you especially like is scientifically called a "Robo-morph," which are deadly androids developed by a secret government agency to fire death beams from their black, merciless heads.

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While you may enjoy looking at different breast sizes, based upon the choices you made, you prefer the kind that are attached to strippers.


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