Saint Valentine was a holy priest in Rome, who was beaten with clubs and then beheaded on February 14 by a mob of single women and non-single men. With his dying words, he cursed them by marking the anniversary of his demise as a universal day of suffering for both demographics.
Alright, it's not that bad this year. You just can't go wrong with insanely good sushi, and I didn't even have to buy flowers this time. She wanted my Saks Fifth Avenue gift certificate instead ... which I think will get her a single shoe over at that overpriced joint where credit cards go to die.