February 25th, 2004


Breakup Season.

Geney Boy got really excited about this theory he has that most break-ups occur between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day.

Granted, this covers a lot of space - almost three months worth - which kinda helps out his theory's accuracy. But I will say I've noticed that more couples do break up during this time than any other two-and-a-half-month period. It just so happens I broke up with my previous girlfriend about a week before Valentine's Day.

Everyone has their theories as to why this happens. Below I'm listing a few I've heard (From mostly male respondents, as you'll probably be able to tell):

- It's the first half of winter. And as the days grow colder and darker, people become sadder and more introspective. As they sit alone in their dark room, listening to that same Coldplay or Radiohead CD for the fourth straight time, they take a step back and look really hard at their life. Then they ask, "Is this someone I want to spend the rest of my life with?", "Is the passion gone for good?", or "Where's the anal sex she promised?"

- Along those lines, when the new year begins, people think about resolution-type crap, whether they make resolutions or not. They plan major life changes. They start wiping their slate clean. They begin to rid themselves of anything they deemed harmful, wasteful, or awful in bed.

- As heartless as it may seem, economics come into play, as Christmas and Valentine's Day are two very painful holidays for the male wallet. As those days get closer, a guy must decide whether he'd rather part with his money or with the girl he's been kinda seeing since they hooked up at the Halloween party. Money can be a very persuasive lover.

- Although this holiday isn't as costly (provided there's open bar), even New Year's Eve is a factor for some very strange, strange people. A buddy who shall remain nameless said, "When New Year's Eve approaches, I ask myself if I'd rather spend the evening with her or partying with my boys. If I'd rather party with the guys, then I know it's over."

- And let's not forget Thanksgiving, the most sinister holiday of them all ... at least for long-distance couples. When my friends were in biz school, they told me that the first day of Thanksgiving weekend was called Black Thursday. This is because it was when most of the students saw their loved ones for the first time since leaving for school. By then, the distance had already taken its toll on a number of relationships. Either they realized that the damage was irreparable, or it was damaged all along.

- Terrorists.

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