Last week after we'd just finished dinner, my buddy Doc brought up a very fascinating case he came across that day while at the hospital. For those who tend to vomit easily, I'd stop reading now.
Still with me? Good. Okay so this guy showed up with a very peculiar medical condition: He pissed shit.
"Wait, what do you mean exactly?" I asked. "You're telling me this man had poo coming out his penis?"
"Yes," replied Doc. We all winced in disgusted bewilderment, except Rog, who's always fascinated with matters of the turd. Doc then went on to explain that the man had some sort of intestinal disaster that somehow resulted in his colon being directly connected to his bladder. This guy would be a superstar in certain types of German porn.
We were all baffled. For one thing, there's the size discrepancy between the two holes. After all, they were built to unload different kinds of cargo. Now every single one of you have probably had an epic toilet moment where it felt like you were squeezing a full-grown Rottweiler out of your bowels. For this patient, would it be like pushing a bowling ball through a garden hose or was it in manageable little pieces before it got there?
Also, did he pee out of his ass?
And, did this mean his dick farted?
All tough questions for the medical community to ponder when Doc publishes this groundbreaking case in the New England Journal of Medicine.
But here's the thing: The suffering bastard waited a year before going to the hospital. That means for 365 days, he crapped standing up. During those 52 weeks, he learned to avoid eating peanuts. For 12 months, he simply accepted it as another shitty part of life he had to deal with. The same way someone would stick with a shitty job or a shitty relationship.
If it hadn't been for the giant, painful abscess that ballooned on his infected member, he would never had gone to a doctor. And Doc wouldn't have been able to entertain us with this wonderful dinner time story.
On a whole 'nother note, click here if you're ever bored. And then keep refreshing that page every ten seconds. It shows the most recent images on everybody's Livejournal as they're being posted, along with a link to that person's page.
|comments: 52 comments or Leave a comment|