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Subject:Sunday Lunch With Dad.
Time:11:45 pm
ACT I
ME:

Wow, your hair's way too long, Dad. You need to get a haircut tomorrow.


DAD:

You don't like it? It become more wavy. I like it this way.


ME:

Wavy, like a tidal wave of dead cats. You look a hundred times better with short hair.


DAD:

You sure? I just changing it to parting from left-to-right instead of right-to-left. That's why you don't like it.


ME:

No, it has nothing to do with the parting, Dad. Somehow it looks like you're wearing a toupee or a wig. Seriously, you look like Korean Donald Trump.


DAD:

You look like Korean Dick Cheney.


ME:

What??? Alright fine, just cut that hair, William Shatner.


--

ACT II
DAD:

How 'bout your friend who live in Asia?


ME:

You mean, XXX?


DAD:

Yeah. He have kid yet?


ME:

No, he's not even married yet.


DAD:

So? He can still have kids. Don't need to marry.


ME:

His girlfriend's not going to have kids out of wedlock, are you crazy?


DAD:

That's what's wrong with young women now these days. Too much selfish.


ME:

Selfish for not having bastard kids?


DAD:

Right. They don't like having the children. Only want to dance and buy the, you know, too many shoes.


--

ACT III
DAD:

Look I got new sunglass. My friend pick for me. Not pink.


ME:

You're supposed to take the sticker off the lens.


DAD:

What sticker?


ME:

That thing directly in front of your left eyeball that says "100% UV Protection." See, it peels right off.


DAD:

Oh-ho, I see much better now. Thank you very much, my son.


ME:

God bless you, Dad.



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