ACT IME: Wow, your hair's way too long, Dad. You need to get a haircut tomorrow. DAD: You don't like it? It become more wavy. I like it this way. ME: Wavy, like a tidal wave of dead cats. You look a hundred times better with short hair. DAD: You sure? I just changing it to parting from left-to-right instead of right-to-left. That's why you don't like it. ME: No, it has nothing to do with the parting, Dad. Somehow it looks like you're wearing a toupee or a wig. Seriously, you look like Korean Donald Trump. DAD: You look like Korean Dick Cheney. ME: What??? Alright fine, just cut that hair, William Shatner.
--ACT IIDAD: How 'bout your friend who live in Asia? ME: You mean, XXX? DAD: Yeah. He have kid yet? ME: No, he's not even married yet. DAD: So? He can still have kids. Don't need to marry. ME: His girlfriend's not going to have kids out of wedlock, are you crazy?DAD: That's what's wrong with young women now these days. Too much selfish. ME: Selfish for not having bastard kids? DAD: Right. They don't like having the children. Only want to dance and buy the, you know, too many shoes.
--ACT IIIDAD: Look I got new sunglass. My friend pick for me. Not pink. ME: You're supposed to take the sticker off the lens. DAD: What sticker? ME: That thing directly in front of your left eyeball that says "100% UV Protection." See, it peels right off. DAD: Oh-ho, I see much better now. Thank you very much, my son. ME: God bless you, Dad.