June 9th, 2004

punch

Dog. Woman.

When guys are truly bored out of their skulls, they'll start asking the nearest person how much money it'd take to get them to do something or - in most cases - someone. Unfortunately I am not above this. Below are two actual conversations I've had in the past:


ME: Would you have sex with a guy for $100,000?

MALE FRIEND: No way.

ME: You wouldn't be on the receiving end. You can be pitcher.

MALE FRIEND: Fuck no.

ME: $500,000.

MALE FRIEND: C'mon, dude. That's ridiculous.

ME: Not even for a $1 million?

MALE FRIEND: I wouldn't do it for all the money in the world.

ME: Fair enough. How much for screwing a dog?

MALE FRIEND: Mmmmm, $10,000.


--


ME: Would you do a porn scene with a guy for $100,000?

FEMALE FRIEND: Absolutely not.

ME: $500,000?

FEMALE FRIEND: NO!

ME: Alright, how 'bout a $1 million?

FEMALE FRIEND: Wellll, I might do it for a million ... but only with another girl.

ME: What? I mean, I'd salute you for that and all, but you're not even a lesbian.

FEMALE FRIEND: Just doesn't seem as gross.


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