July 16th, 2004


Bull Tits, Beer, White Castle.

As mentioned in an earlier entry, I’ve been one boring ass lately. Not a single amusing thought in my head. And it couldn’t have come at a worse time either. Friends and acquaintances have been asking me for ideas and written brilliance for side projects, and I’ve been about as useful as tits on a bull.

God I hope this is temporary boring-ness. If it turns out to be permanent, I’m going to do the responsible thing and protect society from my dull self by fleeing to the reclusive kingdom of Bhutan, where boring people are revered as sacred animals.


So I was lying on my couch, watching “Shall We Dance?” on cable as a cold can of Sapporo rested happily on my belly. As I took a sip, it dawned on me that I used to hate beer.

I remember taking my first chug of beer, a Budweiser, when I was eight. It was at a barbeque and my dad briefly left it on a table, so I seized the opportunity. And then I was seized with the urge to vomit all over my Toughskin jeans. Beer, I thought, was refrigerated cow urine.

That memory even affected me over a decade later, when I started drinking alkeehole as a young lad. I steered clear of beer, sticking to more palatable beverages like Jaegermeister and cheap wino whiskey. I never thought I’d ever see the day where I’d willingly drink something that tasted as foul as beer.

And now here I am, drinking beer and actually enjoying the taste, who’da thunkit?

How the hell did I come to like beer? Can’t figure out if it’s because I just reached a point in my life where I finally learned to truly appreciate beer – like I did with women - or if it’s because I just got used to it after numerous repeated attempts – like I did with women.

BTW, this had nothing to with the first paragraph of this entry, and neither does the following …


Most vile movie promo ever:

To promote the upcoming comedy "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle," White Castle will take up temporary residence on the Sunset Strip to serve up its famous slyders. The full-scale replica of the restaurant will squat at 8301 W. Sunset Blvd. across from The Standard Hotel for 11 days in order to give away 50,000 free White Castle hamburgers. The feeding frenzy will begin after the 8:00 p.m. ribbon-cutting ceremony on Thursday, July 22 and will run through Wednesday, Aug. 11.

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