Number of times I´ve been mugged: 0
Number of times I´ve accepted a drink from a hot woman and woken up with a vital organ missing: 0
Number of times I´ve purchased a small jungle child for sex: 0
\number of times \i~ve pressed the wrong key on this fucking Portuguese keyboard\; 11
Gershdang this town is LA times 100. And not in an awesome way. I´m talking about the smog and traffic.
But other than that, I´ve found Brazil to be a fascinating place. For one thing, the women here are all about the bootaty, the ass. Secondly, they don´t drink a lot here. Which almost made me immediately book a ticket back to LA. That was until we discovered during breakfast in our hotel that the contestants of the Miss Sao Paolo pageant are staying here ... on our floor too. You can actually hear them having pillow fights in their rooms as you walk down the hall (and try to peek in through the keyhole). When I informed my penis I was not single, it wailed in sorrow for about an hour.
That´s about it for now. Now I need to go find me a $2 watch.
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