February 1st, 2005


Toy Story.

Don't know if you heard about the Iraqi militants claiming Tuesday that they'd captured a U.S. soldier and were holding him hostage. They posted a photograph of him on a Web site.

When I saw the photo, the first thing I said to my art director was "He looks like an action figure." Next thing you know, more news emerged later in the day speculating that the hostage actually might be a fricking toy after all. A toy company called Dragon Models stated that the dude looked a lot like the African-American version of its "Cody" action figure.

As if the story couldn't get any stranger, there was more breaking news. They found evidence that the action figure was captured not by Middle Eastern terrorists, but by notorious bounty hunter Boba Fett.

But before Boba Fett could deliver the hostage to Jabba, he was defeated in battle by possibly-gay, possibly-Asian G.I. Joe member Gung Ho and a pasty German guy dressed as He-Man.

You can follow the rest of this story on Fox News.

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