March 9th, 2005


Jesus ...

I just came across the story of a Livejournal user, ohbutyouwillpet, whose name is John Dallas Lockhart.

Here's another photo of him, which can be found on the U.S. Marshals "15 Most Wanted" list.

Why is he on this list? Because this heinous beast raped a four-month-old baby. Several times. And took photos. I'm not sure his horrific crimes would've been discovered if a former business partner hadn't attempted to retrieve work files from Lockhart’s computer and uncovered the photos.

The authorities have been trying to find this animal since August. They even questioned the people on his Livejournal friends list, some of whom were immediately deemed guilty by association by other LJ people. I found this guy's entry pretty interesting. He had the misfortune of being Lockhart's friend on Livejournal and in "the real world."

According to this article, Lockhart was last spotted in Northern England a couple of months ago; but who knows where this monster is now ... Wish I hadn't posted this right before I headed to bed. I feel sick to my stomach.

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A Food Entry.

After yesterday's entry I guess I should move on to a lighter topic.

So I've been smoking crack like crazy the past few days in a vain effort to shed some excess pounds by Sunday, when I fly off to Hawaii. As you can see below, the rocks ain't working.

Will you look at those areolas? Like burnt silver dollar pancakes.


It doesn't help that I've been gorging like a pig recently. Here's a list of some of the culprits:

Dinner here was excellent. But insanely expensive. I don't care how fine the dining is, there's no way in hell any meal is truly worth that amount of money unless they're feeding you precious gems. At least then you can eBay your shit. After flossing my teeth, I calculated there was $50 worth of food chunks stuck to my dental floss.

Was having beers with Dan (isogen) and some other guys last week when the topic of after-drinking grub came up. They opted to go to this burrito stand that was located in the part of LA where, as a result, Dan is probably chained to a sewing machine now in a warehouse making fake Laker jerseys. Me, I decided to hit the fake Tommy's on Pico (There are hundreds of fake Tommy's in LA. This one, Big Tomy's, happens to be my favorite.) and order some chili cheese fries. "Some," in this case, meant a dinner-sized styrofoam container. There were enough chili cheese fries in there to kill ten vegans. About two-thirds of the way through, I started feeling full. I finished the whole thing anyway. And for the next 24 hours, it felt as if my lower abdomen was carrying a calf fetus, a calf fetus made of chili and cheese.

A buddy of mine took me to try out his friend's new tapas restaurant in my neighborhood on Sawtelle. His friend was managing the joint, but the chef was also the owner of Shiro in South Pasadena. If you like French/Japanese-ish cuisine and tapas, I'd highly recommend this place. I have mixed feelings about tapas, however. It's just a fancy Spanish word for 'appetizers,' perfectly sized portions for west LA where many of the women eat atmosphere.

Another cool new restaurant in the area is Nook Bistro. How cool is it? It doesn't have a fricking sign. I can't believe they still do this shit. Is LA the only city in the world where easy-to-find places are considered uncool? Signage or no signage, great pork chops.

I'm a big fan of soontofu, but my mouth is a pussy when it comes to extreme heat. You remember that old TV show "Kung Fu," when Kwai Chang Caine uses his bare forearms to carry the hot cauldron filled with burning coal? My tongue is Kwai Chang Caine every time I eat that first bite of scorching soontofu. Then it too wanders the earth, dispensing Shaolin justice.

When I'm really hungry while driving home from work, I'll pay a special visit to the Colonel. Why? Because I have the refined palate of an Appalachian welfare mom. And, like tonight, I'll devour the whole thing within seconds. Not a pretty sight. In an alternate universe where fried chickens are people, I'm in their version of "Jurassic Park," chasing the Jeep filled with Original Recipe actors through the dark jungle.

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