After yesterday's entry I guess I should move on to a lighter topic.
So I've been smoking crack like crazy the past few days in a vain effort to shed some excess pounds by Sunday, when I fly off to Hawaii. As you can see below, the rocks ain't working.Will you look at those areolas? Like burnt silver dollar pancakes.
It doesn't help that I've been gorging like a pig recently. Here's a list of some of the culprits:MELISSE
Dinner here was excellent. But insanely expensive. I don't care how fine the dining is, there's no way in hell any
meal is truly worth that amount of money unless they're feeding you precious gems. At least then you can eBay your shit. After flossing my teeth, I calculated there was $50 worth of food chunks stuck to my dental floss. BIG TOMY'S
Was having beers with Dan (isogen
) and some other guys last week when the topic of after-drinking grub came up. They opted to go to this burrito stand that was located in the part of LA where, as a result, Dan is probably chained to a sewing machine now in a warehouse making fake Laker jerseys. Me, I decided to hit the fake Tommy's on Pico (There are hundreds of fake Tommy's in LA. This one, Big Tomy's, happens to be my favorite.) and order some chili cheese fries. "Some," in this case, meant a dinner-sized styrofoam container. There were enough chili cheese fries in there to kill ten vegans. About two-thirds of the way through, I started feeling full. I finished the whole thing anyway. And for the next 24 hours, it felt as if my lower abdomen was carrying a calf fetus, a calf fetus made of chili and cheese. ORRIS
A buddy of mine took me to try out his friend's new tapas restaurant in my neighborhood on Sawtelle. His friend was managing the joint, but the chef was also the owner of Shiro in South Pasadena. If you like French/Japanese-ish cuisine and tapas, I'd highly recommend this place. I have mixed feelings about tapas, however. It's just a fancy Spanish word for 'appetizers,' perfectly sized portions for west LA where many of the women eat atmosphere. NOOK BISTRO
Another cool new restaurant in the area is Nook Bistro. How cool is it? It doesn't have a fricking sign. I can't believe they still do this shit. Is LA the only city in the world where easy-to-find places are considered uncool? Signage or no signage, great pork chops. BCD TOFU HOUSE
I'm a big fan of soontofu, but my mouth is a pussy when it comes to extreme heat. You remember that old TV show "Kung Fu," when Kwai Chang Caine uses his bare forearms to carry the hot cauldron filled with burning coal?
My tongue is Kwai Chang Caine every time I eat that first bite of scorching soontofu. Then it too wanders the earth, dispensing Shaolin justice. KFC
When I'm really hungry while driving home from work, I'll pay a special visit to the Colonel. Why? Because I have the refined palate of an Appalachian welfare mom. And, like tonight, I'll devour the whole thing within seconds. Not a pretty sight. In an alternate universe where fried chickens are people, I'm in their version of "Jurassic Park," chasing the Jeep filled with Original Recipe actors through the dark jungle.