Just found out the girlfriend invited her mom to stay at my place tonight.
Why? Because girlfriends are inconvenient creatures - something for you single guys to strongly consider as you feebly whine about missing the warmth and substance of a relationship. Moments like this make me question whether it's even worth the regular intercourse.
Her mom's actually a very nice lady. Not once has she grabbed me by the throat and demanded to know why I haven't married and subsequently impregnated her daughter. Lord knows I would if I were an older Korean woman whose offspring was dating an emotionally stunted male with responsibility issues ... I've just jinxed myself by writing that, haven't I?
But fruggit, it's only one night (It'd better be one night, or I'm putting my foot down and checking into a hotel.) And like I mentioned earlier, she's a very nice lady. She and the girlfriend can hang out in the living room, while I hide upstairs under my desk. Or I can find an excuse to go out drinking heavily 'til 5 AM, by which time they should presumably be asleep. Then I'll quietly change my clothes and go to work before they wake up. Or I can take them out to a big dinner followed by a long, boring movie, then somehow try to apply the sleeper hold on both of them at the same time.
Or I could just fake my own kidnapping.