When my girlfriend's mom came to visit from Seoul in May, she brought over a boxload of the mystery liquid you see up there.
"After you party, drink this before you go to bed. It's good for your liver," she said.
Apparently she's under the impression that I drink alcohol. And she's correct, especially this summer.
I used to wonder how certain friends were able to live the "work hard/party hard" lifestyle. Just didn't make any sense to me: How was it physically or mentally sustainable? But ever since I've been working on this new model launch during the summer, I've finally been able to understand.
The crazier work gets for me, rather than slowing down after I leave the office, I'm still stuck in this high-rev mode. Even on the nights where I'm flat-out bushed, I've found myself wanting to go out. And of course the only time I feel the crash is in the morning, thanks to these damn European companies that require early-morning conference calls. But it's nothing that a steady supply of coffee and green tea can't fix.
So back to the mystery liquid ...
The first night I tried it, I tore open the packet and poured the dark, sinister substance into a glass. It filled half a cup. I took one gulp and almost vomited. It tasted exactly like it looked: watery ass. Why there were colorful pictures of plump grapes and pumpkins and pears is beyond me. A more truthful and accurate package would've had the words "ANAL JUICE" printed in big letters on its label.
I told my girlfriend that that was the last time I was drinking that foul-tasting crap. After all, I virtually never get any hangovers, presumably because my liver is invincible like Jesus. So why would I make myself suffer needlessly by drinking that evil filth?
Of course she went and told her mom that I hated it, after she'd lugged that heavy box halfway across the planet to help me. Damn snitch. And of course I had to continue drinking the anal juice.
After drinking the packets all summer, I've got to say it seems to work. This past Friday night, after entertaining a handful of doctor and surgeon friends at Level 3, I forgot to drink a glass; and on Saturday I actually woke up with a mild headache. So as a precaution I've added a second liquid to make it a booze-fighting duo - VitaminWater, which I chug in the morning.
Like In Style Magazine, VitaminWater is a product I used to tease my girlfriend about for liking so much.
"It's just watered-down punch with some vitamins thrown in," I'd say as she tossed several bottles into the cart at Whole Foods. "You're such a sucker for slick marketing. I make my living off people like you."
Then this past Saturday afternoon, after helping my girlfriend and her sister move into their new place under the scorching valley sun, I drove straight to a supermarket and walked out with a 15-pack of VitaminWater tucked under my sweaty arm.
What can I say, turns out I enjoy the taste of watered-down punch.
On a different topic, in my last entry where I mentioned that Keanu Reeves was back with Diane Keaton, a_stylez referred me to this LJ community called ohnotheydidnt. One of the members went and listed celebrity couples where the woman was older than the man, and arranged them by age difference. At this point in my life, I don't think I could date any woman who's older than me, so major kudos to the Indian guy from Lost. And a lot of lubrication.
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