October 11th, 2005

punch

Angels, Steelers and Three WTFs.

If you're not an Angels or Steelers fan, I wouldn't bother reading the next two paragraphs.

Monday night was one of those nights where I finally reaped the benefits of being a sports fan. The Angels beat the highest paid team in sports history to move on to the ALCS. The Steelers beat the Chargers in the final seconds with a clutch field goal. And though the Chargers lost, LT was still able to score enough points to help my fantasy team get a come-from-behind win. It was such an intense evening that by 10 o'clock I felt like I'd taken a four-hour shit.

Tuesday wasn't bad either. Big Ben's injury - his leg almost bent backward when a helmet slammed into his knee - was a lot less serious than expected, and the dude might even play this Sunday. I seriously thought the season was over right there. And despite having to play after two consecutive red eye flights, the Angels beat the White Sox in Game 1. Hell, even Stanford won this past Saturday.

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WTF #1





Have you heard of this company called LifeGem? They turn dead people into bling. That's right, after your wife dies, you can turn her into what she loves most - that is unless she really loved burritos. Using super-hot ovens to turn her ashes into graphite, they then pressurize it into a blue or yellow diamond that you can lovingly put on your gold tooth. As they can make 20 diamonds out of a single body, you can also fulfill your life-long dream of becoming a tiara.

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WTF #2





Just read a crazy article about this serial killer in Mexico City who dresses up as a woman before killing his victims. And that isn't the weirdest part. Three of the four victims - all old ladies - had prints of the same Jean-Baptiste Greuze painting called "Boy in Red Waistcoat" hanging on their walls. I probably would've targeted people with "Beers of the World" posters. It's just a matter of time before this gets turned into a movie, with Britney Spears playing the cross-dressing man.

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WTF #3

I'm at a loss for words with this one. It starts out as a video of a guy with a very handsome mullet singing a Christian song in front of a congregation ... but then halfway through, something happens. Instantly turned me into a Buddhist.


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