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Subject:Shanghai: Rich Old White Guys And Feet-Destroying Women.
Time:05:25 pm
This is my last night in Shanghai before I fly out to Beijing tomorrow; but being a Monday, I have zero expectations of any hardcore zaniness. Not that anything crazy could've happened anyway. T's body broke down after just three consecutive nights of moderate partying. As soon as he got engaged, his liver and testicles must've immediately begun to phase themselves out for obsoletion. The boy can't hang no more. When he started nodding off after just his third drink, I almost had to euthanize him.

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A very disturbing trend here is young Chinese females sporting lesbian hair. At one restaurant, all the waitresses looked like butch dykes. If the Chinese government cracks down on one thing with the utmost brutality, it should be this. I'm talking tanks blowing up salons and troops rounding up androgynous-looking women and hauling them off to camps for hair reprogramming.

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As it turns out, God reads my blog. No, I didn't trace his IP address on my Sitemeter. It's that after I bitched about Shanghai weather in my last entry, the rain went away and the sun sprung out. It was actually the perfect autumn day today. And God, if you're reading this, I'm letting you know that even though I couldn't watch the Stanford-UCLA game, reading about it online was almost as devastating. Whatever I did to deserve this, I'm fairly certain that the punishment did not fit the crime.

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Speaking of my last entry, I ran into the manager of Park 97, who's a friend of T's, at a Coffee Bean. He asked us if we were coming over that night for their Halloween party. T nodded 'yes,' and then we ended up hitting Bar Rouge instead. As it turns out, Bar Rouge is basically the exact same crowd as Park 97 - an assload of older expat guys. One of them was even at our table, but then it turned out he was a millionaire and paid for all of our drinks. It wouldn't even be the first time that night that all of our alcohol would be paid for by a rich old dude, which I suppose makes me a cheap whore.

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Everbody in China gets massages because they're insanely cheap here. You could get an hour-long full-body massage for six bucks. Me, I got a foot massage; and it was easily the most painful one of my entire life. It was so agonizing that my Happy Ending was when she stopped touching my feet. It's like the demon woman had sharp, pointy sticks for fingers. At one point I thought her thumb was going to go right through my foot. My guess is she probably used to do this shit to political prisoners in her previous occupation with Chinese intelligence. Or that I'm a pussy.


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[icon] caffeineguy
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