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Subject:Senor T.
Time:11:33 am

Click here. It will change your life. This reminded me that Mr. T wore overalls, which - based on my earlier theory - makes me wonder if his character was possibly retarded. Besides his haircut and obsession with shiny things, he was terrified of planes and growled a lot. Not surprisingly, the only member of the A-Team he truly related to was Murdoch, who was crazy.


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Was at the Century City Mall last night til almost 11 PM. For those of you who are familiar with the place but haven't been there recently, it just got a massive new AMC theater and the fanciest food court I've ever seen. There was also a giant fountain that spewed Roederer Cristal, small children throwing fragrant rose petals at my feet, and an army of pleasure droids.

But all that mall opulence couldn't dull the pain of shopping in December. Women have a powerful tolerance for that shit, which never ceases to amaze me. In fact, most even feed off of the stress, the retail space gangbangs, and roadside bombs that make Christmas a living hell. My female friends have been hitting the Grove, outlet stores, Bev Center, etc practically every day of this month. I've heard that women have a higher pain tolerance than men, but this impresses me more than labor.

After 30 minutes of mall exposure, I begin to experience dull aching in my feet and neck. At 45 minutes, the eyes start to get dry and my head begins to throb. At 60 minutes, pus begins to leak out of my ears and I start cutting myself with a scissor. After 90 minutes, I acquire an unquenchable thirst for blood. Beyond that, I travel to another plane of existence, an existence where everybody buys everything online.


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