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Subject:Halong Bay. What, You Thought I Was Done With My Vacation Pics?
Time:10:17 am

According to Vietnamese legend, the nearly 2,000 islands in Halong Bay were created by a family of dragons to protect Vietnam from Chinese invaders. The dragons descended from heaven and spat out jewels into the bay, which then turned into to limestone islets, as it is widely known that the Chinese are terrified of limestone. It is their kryponite.


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This is probably the most famous part of Halong Bay. It is so famous, in fact, that I forgot its name.


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I do know the name of this cave at least, Sung Sot. It is fucking enormous, which is not surprising considering the world's richest Neanderthal once lived here. He invented the sharpened stick and elephants.


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The morning's low tide reveals that many of the islands are naked from the waist down.


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A floating village next to Cat Ba island. It always mystifies me that people are able to spend their entire lives away from solid ground. It also mystifies me that people catch and eat the fish in the same water they piss and shit into. Or maybe they don't eat the fish and just sell it to the tourist boats that then cook and serve the fish to people like me.


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Subject:Bangkong. Hong Kok.
Time:11:05 pm

I don't think there's a single square inch in Kowloon that doesn't have at least one human being on it. Hong Kong is so ridiculously dense that they make buildings out of people here. Loud-ass, Cantonese-screaming buildings.


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Bangkok. Like the song, I spent one night here. Hence, not that many photos - plus it was my third time in this city. I've got slightly better Bangkok pics here and here. Same thing with Hong Kong, which I'd already been to three times. As you might have guessed, my frequent visits are a result of my repeatedly trying to win underground death matches and avenge my paralyzed brother. But every time I come close to winning the championshop, Chong Li always gets me with the blinding powder.


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Kongers foolishly postponing their alcohol consumption to watch a World Cup match at Lan Kwai Fong. Unless the U.S. or Korea was playing, I didn't even bother to watch that sport. It's just as boring as baseball, but with more kicking and shorter pants. But everybody in Asia was surprisingly crazy about it, even if their country wasn't in the World Cup. As you can see on the right, even the sun came down to watch. After the game, it had one too many Jack & Cokes and disintegrated Malaysia.


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Hong Kong at 6 AM, as I was walking back to our hotel to start packing for my 9:30 AM flight.


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Hong Kong at 6:15 AM. For a brief explanation about this night, click here. Alex had gone back to our hotel at 2 AM, convinced that Hong Kong nightlife was pathetic and had nothing more to offer. Less than two days earlier, he'd wanted to live here. Anyway, I wanted to salvage my last night in Hong Kong and refused to go back to our hotel. Luckily I somehow ended up having a very entertaining evening and stayed up all night. So when I walked into our room and found Alex still asleep - well after the 6 o'clock wake-up call - I declared manly victory. Our hotel was this cheap, sleazy place in the strip joint district of Wan Chai. It's as if we never left Bangkok. They provided condoms in the bathroom, and blankets covered with either leopard spots or sex stains. We even had free porn ... which could explain why Alex went back to our hotel so early.


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[icon] caffeineguy
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