October 17th, 2006


Turk Trek. Paint Sells Sonys. What You Get For $200 A Week.

Believe it or not: Turkish Star Trek. It's a bit long at almost ten minutes, so go to the 1:00 mark for the awesome expression on Turkish Kirk's face as he leers at Turkish Spock. At 2:52, I wonder how any hashish makes it out of Turkey when clearly everybody smokes it there. At 6:21, there's hand licking, and a space creature morphs into a chubby black gentleman. A climactic confrontation takes place with an army of leopard loincloth-wearing dudes at 8:50. If there is a God, the Turks have their own "Lord of the Rings."


Here's the new Sony Bravia sequel to the famous rubber balls commercial. This time the ad agency tried to top themselves with two abandoned buildings, tons of wet paint, and - most freakishly strange of all - a fucking clown.


A buddy of mine needed to hire a personal assistant to run some random errands for him, such as picking up dry cleaning, booking plane tickets, slapping his penis with a cactus, etc. So he placed an ad in Craigslist, stating that the job only required ten hours per week and payed $20/hour. You can imagine how surprised he was when he received literally hundreds of applications within a day. With LA being populated with millions of unemployed actors and actresses, it wasn't that surprising at all considering his job offered flexible hours - perfect for someone who was constantly going to auditions.

In the end, he interviewed eight applicants. Of course, all were female and extremely attractive. One in particular was so hot that he wouldn't stop talking about her a day later.

"You should've seen her, man. One of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Check out her Friendster page when you get home. Go check out her on Friendster!" he demanded.

"So you hired her," I assumed.

"No," he replied.

"What? You probably masturbated to her Friendster pics, but you didn't hire her?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Can't trust the hot ones. I hired the cute one instead."

"Cute, as in the least attractive of the eight finalists."

"She had a trustworthy face." he replied. "You wanna see what she looks like?"

"You mean, on her Friendster page?"

"No, like right now. I can call her up and have her come over."

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