March 23rd, 2007


Patagonia. Day ???

Back from Chile. Spent the whole time in Torres del Paine.

What is this Torres del Paine, you ask?

- Torres del Paine is Nature with every dial, button, and lever pushed to the maximum setting.

- Torres del Paine, if used correctly, will give you toe blisters, sore joints, and small puncture wounds.

- Paine is actually a three-syllable word, because the Chileans are apparently a very inefficient people. You should see how long it takes them to make a ham sandwich. Takes several hours and at least three philosopher kings.

- Torres del Paine will give you a new set of eyes.

My hotel was at the base of Paine Massif. It was so isolated, it had no TV or Internet. Adding to the sensation of disconnectedness, I'd also forgotten to bring a damn watch on this trip. To keep track of time, I had to rely on sunrises, sunsets, the occasional wake-up call, and a crude time-keeping device I´d constructed using a whittled tree branch, mint-flavored dental tape, and a heavily drugged puma.

For evening entertainment, I'd take a short walk at twilight, rape a half-conscious puma, or read a book ... although I'm now finished with "A Confederacy of Dunces" - what the hell am I going to read on the plane? If it didn´t make me dizzy from tilting my head back so long (didn´t want to lie on the expansive lawn due to the risk of horse and hare shit) I could've also spent all night staring at the sky. There are stars liberally sprayed everywhere, especially the thick cosmic band down the middle that is the Milky Way galaxy.

Tonight I fly up to Puerto Madryn to see the world's largest colony of Magellan penguins. This is also the only area on Earth where the killer whales swim right onto the beach to eat sea lion pups and purchase duty-free items. I doubt I´ll get to see it as it´s pretty damn rare, but I figure God owes me for Cerro Torre.

I feel like I should get myself a watch today but I´m kinda digging this vague sense of time. I feel like I´ve been here for months.

Not sure if I´m ready for the stale, stuffy air of city life.

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