July 10th, 2007


Dancing Thai Pelvis Is Love. Chicken Ban.

I couldn't embed the video in this entry, so I just slapped on an old pic I took in Bangkok.


Turn up your speakers and click here (Not to worry, it's work-safe.) to see the greatest commercial ever to come out of Thailand. The fact that this brilliant utilization of chubby Thai males only won a merit award at the One Show sickens me. I may not even be able to sleep tonight, haunted about this injustice.


The girlfriend's mom asked us to visit one of those Asian medicine practioners, who promptly prescribed what every Asian medicine practioner prescribes: hot, liquid ass. While I can't say for certain that anus is one of the ingredients, it does usually include foul-tasting herbs and slices of deer horn. My mom made my sisters and me drink this crap when we were kids for reasons that were never fully explained to me - perhaps to strengthen our gag reflexes - although to this day she claims it's the reason why I'm 6'1".

Many years later, I'm being forced to drink it again. Two cups every day for a fricking month. But here's the strange part: I'm not allowed to eat chicken. Apparently it doesn't react well with the hot, liquid ass.

Chicken accounts for 80% of an LA resident's meat intake, with the other 20% being sushi and steakhouse. Granted, this may result in my spending more quality time with my neglected friend, pork. But one full month without California Chicken Cafe or Zankou Chicken? Thirty-one days without KFC? This is going to be virtually impossible.

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