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Subject:Seoul Pics.
Time:12:03 am


It had been over five years since my last night in Seoul, when I staggered back to the hotel at 6:30 AM with about half of the Korean liquor industry flowing through my weary veins. That had been a magical two weeks. Two weeks of samgyupsal, $7 Apkujong coffee, and newly ulcerated friends shitting blood. "It's as if God created a city just for me," I thought as I watched a woman in a tiny houndstooth skirt fall off her stool at S Bar. I was so depressed about leaving Seoul that I looked into getting a job there. When that didn't happen, I assumed I'd be back within a year. It had been over five years since my last night in Seoul.



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Mangling the English language is a delicate art form in Asia. And I expected nothing but excellence from the country that made "Be The Reds" a national motto. Notice the subtle yet brilliant placement of quotation marks around the word "nature." If that doesn't make you become delightful time, then you are truly dead inside, my friend.



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I somehow managed to snap a photo of this candy meteor just after it entered the Earth's atmosphere and eventually crashed into the Yellow Sea, causing it to burst with tropical fruity flavor. Actually it's a really nice ceiling lamp I fancied inside this cozy, model-infested lounge called Soulsome.



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The last time I visited Gyeongbok Palace, I was 17. I came with a sponsored tour group of about 70 Korean-American teens who were spending three weeks away from their parents in a distant country that didn't enforce a drinking age limit. The chaperones were hardly ever around, so as you could imagine, the tour was basically one long drunken orgy that was occasionally interrupted by a trip to a tourist destination. For those of you with young Korean-American daughters, I'd think twice about sending them on a tour like this. Picture the porn version of The Lord of the Flies.



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Continuing a tradition of sorts, I attempted to do a Photoshopped tribute to one of my all-time favorite Korean movies. But instead of Oldboy, I look like the member of a Korean boy band. We'd call ourselves "Fantasy Liking Hammers" and tour Asia, laying waste to entire cities, scorching crops, and slaughtering livestock.



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[icon] caffeineguy
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