As Halloween rapidly approached, I realized I hadn't bought or made a costume yet. The last time I'd done anything remotely interesting for a Halloween costume was this one.
This year, I initially assumed I was going to wear the hat I bought in Mongolia (7th pic down) and then combine it with something else. Like with a barbeque apron: Mongolian Barbeque. Or with this costume: Genghis Corn. Or with this costume: Genghis Cock. Then I wore the hat around the house and realized that the fur and leather lining cooks your brain within minutes.
In the end, I just didn't have time; so I went with a costume I'd already worn twice. Party City's been selling it for almost a decade, but for some reason it still gets a lot of attention. People just have a powerful reaction to inflatable women. All evening, friends and strangers were staring, pointing, giggling, groping, molesting, fondling, poking, kissing, spanking, and just about sexually assaulting my costume. So basically I was jealous. Inflatable women have a long ways to go before they finally attain the same rights as non-inflatable women.
I was hoping to do something that was on the mellower side this year, but our female friends wanted to have nothing to do with mellow. So we ended up going to Hollywood. Unfortunately, I think the entire Western Hemisphere had the same idea, because the traffic and crowds were insane - even by LA standards. And to top it off, we took one look at the massive line for the party and uttered, "No fucking way." Luckily we didn't have to wait in line, or I would've turned around and walked back home. Or at least stood on a Hollywood street corner and pimped my inflatable woman out for sex.
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