People often assume I'm much younger than I actually am. I credit my youthful appearance to my Asian genes and years of hard drinking. Vodka, scotch, and Patron preserve the flesh better than formaldehyde. Mentally, however, I think I'm even younger. Like 13. My mind is still sporting an adolescent pube fro. Take, for instance, this week-long Photoshop "war" I had with my friends Lina and May.
It all began on our last night in Tokyo, when I took maybe one too many swigs from Remy bottles and promptly passed out at 5 AM. Unfortunately for me, everybody else was still awake. This led to a gang rape of my dignity. There are videos of me snoring (I sound very mucus-y. Must have had allergies) and getting spanked. Then, of course, Lina and May took turns vandalizing my poor face. Thankfully they used an eyeliner pen, which was completely smeared off when I woke up several hours later. Of course, I'd witness the artwork a day later, when these photos ended up on Facebook.
But little did Lina know that I was plotting revenge. Starting with the flight back home.
( And So The Photoshop War Began ...Collapse )
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