If I remember correctly, I headed over to a bar around 11 to meet up with Rina, Squiggy, Gambler, and a bunch of Rina's female friends.
Within 2.34 minutes of sitting down, I got sucked into a conversation about anal sex followed by a similar academic topic, "fingering." The women seemed to find both unpleasant. Now I could sort of see why females can judge backdoor action to be disagreeable, but fingers? One of the ladies was particularly vocal against the whole manual manipulation thing, and I was perplexed because I - as well as the other two guys at the table - were under the impression that females found this, at the very least, to be tolerable.
"Perhaps you haven't been fingered properly," I said. What I meant was: I'm sure some inexperienced guys can get a little rough with the hands, or maybe not trim their nails. But there's no possible way she could be speaking for every member of Team Uterus.
Okay, I'm starting to sense that this is may be getting a little crude. Especially since most of you will be reading this Friday morning at the office, and the last thing any female wants to start off the day with is visualizing going to third base with this guy...
So my girlfriend can't go to Hawaii with me this September.
At first I considered going to Oahu with the rest of my friends who'd already booked tickets; but I realized that Rog is the only other male going, and he's going with his woman. I may still go if Squiggy decides to go, but the dude's 50/50.
So my plan is this: Don't go to Hawaii or Korea and use up all five vacation weeks at once. Maybe take the month of December off. I can either finish touring the rest of Asia (I've yet to hit Bali, Vietnam, India, Japan, New Guinea)...
OR I can just hang out in Paris and write that damn screenplay. Granted, the French and I have never enjoyed each others company; but you always read about writers going to Paris to write and awaken the lesbian within. To find inspiration, they spend their days sitting at those sidewalk cafes, nursing their cold espressos while making sure their fingernails are well-trimmed.
I'm pretty sure I'm sober. I suppose I can always delete this tomorrow morning.