caffeineguy (caffeineguy) wrote,
caffeineguy
caffeineguy

Tokyo Pics. Part 4.


As mentioned in the previous entry, more than any other city I've been to, Tokyo's got a ton of cool shit. And one of the best places to buy cool shit is Tokyu Hands. Despite its name, hands is about the only thing this store doesn't sell. It sells everything else from woodworking tools to wedding stationary to robots to that white body suit pictured above. I'm not sure what you'd wear it for, but I do know this much: The guy in the middle is really excited about being 155 cm.


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As a result of going to Japan, I missed E3 back in LA. However I did get my fill of video games at the Sega Joypolis in Odaiba. I never did figure out the point of this arcade game, but my guess is you're the co-host of a comedy show along with that Bart-wannabe dummy. As you exchange jokes or tempura recipes, at certain points you're supposed to smack the other co-host. Why? Don't ask - I'm still trying to figure out that white body suit. You can hit the dummy on the head, arm or stomach, and are judged on timing and maybe impact. Maybe a Japanese person who's played this can explain it to me.


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This photo was also taken at Tokyu Hands. Most or all of them are gag candy: One's really hot, one's really cold, one gushes fake blood out of your mouth, etc. The candy that's second-to-the-left on the bottom row was the one that amused me the most. It seems to imply that eating this candy will either turn you gay or make your mom (see the weeping old ladies in the corner) think you're gay, thereby causing her much anguish and guilt about her child-rearing capabilities. Then again, it may not even be candy - I'll need the assistance of a Japanese-reading person for this one.


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In this arcade game, you walk a dog ... and that's it. That plastic dog (which looks like it's humping a doghouse) has a leash that you pull as you walk on the treadmill. There was another game where you drove a bus around, picking up and dropping off passengers. I'm just waiting for the game where you take out the garbage or sit in a toll booth.

Sometimes I wonder how this country invented ninjas.


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A bunch of us were looking at this ad inside a subway train, and we couldn't figure out what the hell it was advertising. Several guys thought his soul was escaping out his mouth, like the monsters in "Final Fantasy." And nobody could figure out why he was butt-ass naked. It was later explained to us that the soul was actually just him saying "Ahhh..." It turned out to be an ad for an effervescent bath tablet - like putting a giant Alka Seltzer in your tub. Somehow the bubbles were supposed to improve your body's circulation, and steal your life essence.


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I spotted this quaint little coffee joint in Harajuku. I realized that in Japan, a cafe for FOBs would have to be filled with white people. And the funny part was that it really was. Okay, not that funny, but slightly ironic.


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One last arcade game. This one was called "The Typing of the Dead." With a straight face, I'm telling you that gameplay involved killing zombies by quickly typing the words appearing across their bodies. The game's tagline was "Type ... or Die." I guess it was supposed to be an entertaining way of teaching Japanese people to type on English keyboards. My ace typing skills blew through this bitch in three minutes. And then I walked the dog.


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Another item I came across in Tokyu Hands. Just read the package. It speaks for itself.



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